| Hi Judy,
A friend of my wife's son killed himself recently. He was despondent over
his wife having an affair right after their daughter was born. He lived
in a house next door to his mother's house. He went behind his house and
got in a car with a hose running from the exhaust pipe into the car. The
location of the car looked like he meant for his wife to find him. Unfortunately
his mother and his 13 year old sister found him. They are devastated about
it as well as his two older sisters.
After the funeral, they found they could no longer stay in the house,
which they were renting, so they moved into my former house across town.
The daughter, who was with her mom when they found him, couldn't bring
herself to look out windows or remain at the other house alone, even during
the daylight hours and her school performance fell off considerably.
The woman is a friend of my wife , but I have gotten to know her well
myself. She was out here visiting awhile back and opened up to us, told
us everything she knew about her son's death and how it was affecting
her. She blames herself for not recognizing he was so near to the end.
I tried to console her from my own experience of having my father's youngest
brother kill himself back in 1965. |
Dear John,
Thank you for your question, I know I have been a little slow in getting
back to you on it but I felt I needed to meditate long and hard on it.
I am going to answer it in two parts: the first deals with what I feel
you need to do - or ask his family to do - to help lighten the spot where
he died; the second part will tell you the stories of various suicide
haunts and spirits that I have talked to in my role as medium.
1. I know you are based in a strongly Christian
part of the States and from that I infer that the deceased man was a
Christian. The Christian Church believes that suicide is a sin. Even
if this soul did not outwardly believe this during his adulthood, his
early upbringing will have put this believe deep into his psyche. When
a person dies deeply held beliefs can come between him and his ability
to move onto the lands we live in between lives. The pagan community
call this the Summerlands. I hold more to the Spiritualist point of
view, that there are many levels depending on one's level of spiritual
attainment. These levels range from those one might consider 'hell'
to those that one might consider 'heaven'. If a soul feels unable to
let go of this world when they die then they hang about in this world,
this ends up with what we living humans call a haunting.
The thickening atmosphere in the drive where the man committed suicide
in his car may be where his soul is locked down. He cannot, or will
not, move on. There will be a variety of reasons why he will not move
on. They can be fear of going to 'hell'; anguish at leaving his family
to fend for themselves (he will no longer be crippled with the depression
that made him kill himself); or just the real need to soothe the pain
and anguish for leaving them this way. The thickening atmosphere is
made up of the residue of his human energy (this will dissipate after
about 90 days) plus his spirit self. After the 90 days (refer to the
Bardo of the Tibetan Book of the Dead) his spirit will still lurk there
until he is ready to move on. Alternately he could 'haunt' the car he
died in. Souls are drawn to where their DNA is still in evidence - the
car he died in, the house he lived in, the places he worked in, etc.
To help him move on I suggest the following; a candle-light prayer
vigil during the hours of darkness at the place where he died with family
and friends - asking for God's forgiveness for the soul of the departed
for the 'sin' of suicide, also giving their own forgiveness to him for
taking his own life and leaving them in this sudden and devastating
way, and finally, asking his forgiveness for not being there enough
to help save him from himself. They also need to tell him of their love
for him and how much they miss him, yet wish him to move on from the
sadness of his ending. A priest blessing the place and leading the prayers
of forgiveness is optional, but if you can find one that will treat
the act of suicide with gentleness and forgiveness he or she will be
an added bonus. One who will treat this as an exorcism rather than a
blessing would be a bad thing - in such a circumstance a priest would
hamper the proceedings. This is about mutual forgiveness - not about
blame or forcibly ripping of the departed soul from where he currently
is.
I hope this suggestion can be acted on as it will cleanse the area
and may help the troubled soul to move on. It may also bring some closure
to the grieving family members. If, by any chance, none of them wish
to help in this matter, going there yourself and holding a small vigil
of prayer of forgiveness and understanding may help. But it may take
family presence to truly break through a haunt and make it effective.
2. As a medium I have come upon several suicide
hauntings. I have to add here in the Judeo-Christian west that suicide
is considered a sin. In cultures such as Japan it is not and can have
deeply honourable associations. Suicide haunts and experiences are very
much based in our Western mind-set and experiences. Now follow some
of my stories:
Morag:
Now I will tell you Morag's story. This took place near Sheildaig, Loch
Torridon. Sheildaig is a very pretty one-street village perched on the
edge of the most beautiful Loch in the Western Highlands of Scotland.
Main Street looks out onto Sheildaig Island and the Loch. The majesty
of the mountains beyond is truly magnificent, and once you have seen
this small corner of Scotland you wish to return from time to time regardless
of the rotten weather, just so that you can feast your eyes on its beauty.
My family were using it as a base for climbing the local Munro's (Scottish
mountains over 3000 feet). One day they decided to climb some rock faces
above the town on the main road between Torridon and the Applecross
Peninsula. I do not like rock faces but I went along anyway. I thought
I would just sit on a rock and enjoy the magnificent view.
Once they were happy belaying themselves and clambering up
the rocks, I wandered off and scrambled up a less vertical face to perch
on the headland. I was sitting there, minding my own business, when
I began to feel very dizzy, and felt that I had to hold tight to the
rocks or I would fall off. I rationalised all this, knowing that I was
safe. So I tuned out of the here and now and into my psychic self, listening
with my inner ear.
I discovered that I was with a local teenage girl. I started
talking to her to find out her story. She told me her name was Morag
and she had died here. She had thrown herself off this rock because
she had become pregnant by a local lad and he would not marry her. This
had been some time ago, perhaps 90 or more years ago (I felt that there
was a Victorian or Edwardian feel to the story she was telling me).
She was fairly distraught about her story that she felt that she could
not go away from the spot because she had committed two sins, first
the sin of getting pregnant, then the sin of killing herself.
I talked to her and tried to soothe her, explaining that they
were not sins, but very sad experiences and that she needed to forgive
herself and the man that got her into the mess. Jesus (she was a Christian)
had forgiven her a long time ago. She listened to me as she was tired
of feeling lonely, stuck on the rock; however, she did not feel ready
to try to go into the light so I invited her to return with me, firstly
to the croft, and when we left Sheildaig for home, she could come back
with me to England.
Morag took me up on the offer. She did return to the croft,
enjoying the village she had lived in before her death. She also came
back to Surrey in England with us when we went home. After a while she
told me that she was grateful for all my help, but she needed to see
her mountains again and chose to return. Next time I go to Loch Torridon
I will check up on Morag's rock to see if she is still there, or if
she has moved onto the light having seen her beloved mountains once
again.
Rosemary:
When I was in my teens, a local actress committed suicide. By this time
I knew suicides tended to haunt locations so I felt I aught to make
some effort to help her troubled spirit. I had the ability to astral
travel so I made ready to go help her next time I did so.
The time arrived when I was leaving my body so I gave instructions
that I should visit her home on Wimbledon Common, next to the Crooked
Billet and Hand in Hand public houses. I wanted to help her move on
if she was still there. Next thing I saw was the view from the first
floor window of a darkened room, looking out over the Common towards
the pond where people put their model boats on a Sunday afternoon. She
was gazing out longing for her lover to come. She was so sad, waiting
and waiting for him to come to her door once more.
I could not get through to her; she was locked into her private
well of grief. I wonder to this day if she is still there, standing
by the window to her bedroom; and if other owners of her house can see
and feel her there; if they do it will be emotion of endless sadness
and abandonment. I was unable to help her to the light.
Zardos
The man this story is about does not have a real name, only the assumed
name of Zardos as it was his internet identity. He was a student of
Tessa Moonbeam. Tessa had started teaching people the basics of Wicca
over the internet and he was one of them. He was very over-weight; so
much so that he was unable to enjoy life. He was housebound, and when
he did manage to get out, he suffered from mental and physical bullying
from people around him. He literally hated his life.
He made it clear to the group that he was going to take his
life, hoping his next life would be better (he believed in life after
death as well as reincarnation and had no fear of dying; only living).
Tessa contacted me whilst Zardos was still alive. She was desperate
to trace him and wanted to get his local police to go save him but as
he had never given her his contact details she had nowhere to start.
I did my best for her, I got a vision on him sitting in his front room,
watching television and drinking coke; he was still alive. I cannot
get location details with remote viewing - just the general emotions
of the person concerned and what they are doing (and, I might add, it
often does not work unless I personally know the person concerned).
I warned her that he had taken pills so there wasn't much time left.
A few days later a large and happy male spirit dropped by
while I was working at my computer; it was Zardos, he identified himself
to me. He had passed over and was happy to be dead and free. He told
me to tell Tessa that he would look after her and the other students
and they must not worry about him. He was as happy as he always hoped
to be - free of the burden of his miserable life.
Tessa and her current group of students were happy to hear
from me. It calmed their troubled minds and they could let go of their
grief at Zardos' death.
Reading this story you might think I advocate death as a way
out of depression and other emotional traumas, I do not; you still need
to learn the lessons in life that you took on when choosing to incarnate
in a human body. Running away via premature death does not take that
lesson from your karma. One day Zardos' spirit will need to work through
his problem in this world. The reason I added this story is to show
that suicide does not have to result in haunting. It is the person's
state of mind that creates the haunting.
Uncle Don
My Uncle Don killed himself over a girl. He had gotten into trouble
and she had broken his heart. He shot himself. This happened ages ago
- I cannot remember exactly when, but I think it was during the 1960s.
My family had already moved to England. I always wondered how his soul
was doing.
Not long ago I noticed that occasionally I would get feelings
of depression with a headache and then hold my hand to my head in the
shape of a gun, and say boom. Now this is not normal behaviour for me
so I sat down and analysed it, then I decided to meditate and use my
psychic sense to sort it out. I discovered that my deceased Uncle Don
had decided to look me up and as I was the only psychic one in the family
he was trying to establish contact. It went something like this:
Don: I daddled you on my knee.
Me: What took you so long to come through?
Don: (feeling embarrassed) I was not allowed to leave that place until
recently.
Me: What do you want me to do now I know it is you?
Don: Tell Pat how sorry I am to make her so unhappy.
Me: I can't do that, Uncle Don, I don't tell my family messages I get
for them because they never ask me to act as a medium for them.
Don: Just try, will you?
Me: Okay, one day it will come out. Why don't you go see your parents,
they are both dead now. You can ask them for forgiveness face to face.
Don: I'm too embarrassed. I was such a disappointment to them.
Me: Oh, okay, I'll try and tell mum some day.
Have I told my mother (his sister Patricia)? Not yet, but
it wasn't me he daddled on his knee, it was my sister, who is four years
older than I am. I know because I asked my mother, she had no memory
of my ever meeting Uncle Don in the flesh. I occasionally mention Uncle
Don to my mother and we talked over his later history and mode of death,
but I have not yet got up the courage to tell her Uncle Don's message.
I hope one day I can (maybe she will read this).
I have a few more stories but I felt this selection gives
you a flavour of what communicating with suicides is like for a medium.
It is as varied as talking to the living, each story is different. The
man who died in the car has his own story and it is tied up with his
family. They can resolve the possible haunt simply with love, forgiveness
and understanding. But the troubled soul needs to know this - hence
a vigil of prayer wherever he has chosen to haunt.
God bless you John, in your endeavours to help the family
and the departed soul.
Judy F
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